


premonitions

by hizziesdream



Series: Teen Wolf prompts/one shots/writings [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, my take on stiles' state of mind after season 3, set after allison's death, they miss allison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29708712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hizziesdream/pseuds/hizziesdream
Summary: you will be dearly missed
Relationships: Allison Argent & Lydia Martin, Allison Argent & Scott McCall, Allison Argent & Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin/Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski
Series: Teen Wolf prompts/one shots/writings [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180838
Kudos: 4





	premonitions

**Author's Note:**

> tw for suicidal thoughts

The moment Lydia started speaking Stiles recognized his own words, his eyes widening (it would have been comical in any other situation). He wanted to stop her from finishing that sentence - that thought; he hadn't meant it - he'd been angry and hurt and tired. But no words came out. It was like his mouth had been glued shut (a first for him, probably).  
"Death doesn't happen to you, Lydia, it happens to everyone around you," Lydia said matter-of-factly, cold, distanced, calculated. "Guess you didn't know how right you would be. Banshee and all..."  
Stiles wanted to answer, to say something, anything, but what was there to say? The both of them standing next to Allison's grave (body freshly buried), the rest of the procession already left for the luncheon at the Argent's house. Lydia hadn't cried, just stared straight ahead the entire time, her blank "Queen B" face on. But her eyes looked haunted, lost in memories of the person she had loved like a sister, not really processing. He remembered waking up in the tunnels of Oak Creek, Lydia clutching his body like it was the only thing grounding her to reality, crying and weeping in ways that broke his heart. He knew then, that it was Allison's death that she had felt, the one she had seen when she asked "who came with you?". The only comfort he felt he had to offer was letting her cry on his shoulder, hugging her close, so he did.  
He had wanted to die after, had said "the only good thing is it looks like I'm dying too," felt he deserved it. For not being strong enough, resisting the nogitsune longer, not fighting it harder. All the death and destruction he - it - caused, Stiles remembered it all, it was part of his memories now. But Allison's death was on him too and so he had wanted to die, to be punished for letting it happen.  
For taking her away from her best friend, who was clutching his hand throughout the funeral, not wanting to think of a world without her. For making Scott lose his first love and anchor and friend, dying in his arms. For making Argent lose a daughter, his only daughter, the only family he had left. And even for Isaac, who he didn't really like, but who had made Allison smile again, who could have loved her. Who fled to France with Argent the day after the funeral, because it was too painful to stay in this town, where everything reminded them of her.  
Stiles wanted to leave too, had wanted to for a while. Beacon Hills was a black hole and it would swallow them all if they didn't get out.  
But Lydia and Scott had looked so relieved when he made it, and if they needed it he could give them that. They didn't deserve to lose someone else (not after everyone; and Aiden - another hug, he remembered -) and they needed him around, so he pretended not to fall apart, let Lydia squeeze his hand until it was numb, hugged Scott for what felt like hours. He knew they didn't want to lose him and he owed it to them to stay alive until they would be better (not okay, never okay again).  
But he knew Lydia blamed herself, too. She had whispered it, like a secret, after the police station. Wrapped in his arms at her house, not wanting to be alone. If she had just not gotten dragged away by the nogitsune, if they had just listened to her warning of "don't find me". If she could just control her powers better, she would have known it would be Allison and she could have told them. "What use am I if I can't even figure this out?" she had said in the dark. "The only thing I did was scream. The only thing I ever do is scream. I couldn't help, I couldn't prevent it. I just felt it. I literally felt her die, like the sword stabbed me instead. And that's when I knew." She broke into tears again at that, sobbing uncontrollably. He would have marveled at how far they'd come from "I think you look really beautiful when you cry," if it hadn't broken his fucking heart to see her like this. Gasping for air in between tears, choking on the pain of losing her sister (her Scott. God, the pain when he thought about losing Scott - unbearable, he didn't blame her for crashing).  
Thinking about Allison caused him physical pain, an ache somewhere in his heart and his brain and it bombarded him with memories of her.  
Allison on her first day of class. Nervous, anxious, trying not to draw attention. So different from the leader he watched her grow into.  
Her smile when he talked about the bestiary. Tracking through the woods looking for Lydia. Flashes of red, the smell of gasoline, whispers of "there's always hope". A silver bullet, ice water (emotional tether), opening a door to darkness. Holding Scott's hand (in class; after Gerard and Jackson), being his anchor. "Online gaming community that battles mythical creatures", detention. Friend, pack. Glimpses of metal (Chinese ring daggers) and leather (archer's gloves). "I'm here to save my best friend," said with the determination he was used to by now. A hazy memory of Lydia screaming her name. (Her silver arrow saving them, shocker). Smirks, smiles, laughs. An ice rink, photo booths (screaming tinting that memory too, nothing could ever just be good). Crossing a red light, stopping, a deer and birds (once, twice; pattern?). Haunted eyes, dark smiles, bloody hands (Gerard got her good; we're all capable of this. Bend someone until they break. Corrupt something good.). A shopping mall, winter formal, silver gowns. Sleeping on the bus ("I don't like this place"; they should listen to her, why didn't they ever just listen). Allison on the steps, blinding smile, Isaac smiles too (good for him, he deserves (needs) it). "It all happened so fast". An armored truck, parked car, kanima scales. Bow and arrow, always, her weapons, her thing. The Archer (and the Banshee, echoes his mind. Never one without the other (we made a pact. The one that got away. Life's a fucking joke.)). The Argent name, matriarch, leader. New code. Nous protégeons ceux qui ne peuvent pas se protéger eux-mêmes. We protect those who can not protect themselves. Their motto, always. Scott's motto. Help. Hope. Shooting a crossbow, eye-rolls, "I can protect myself." Dropping a phone in the woods. Carrying Scott, always his pillars, the both of them. They understood each other like that. Handsaws, tripwires, and waking dreams. Hallucinations, darkness, void. The Nemeton, sacrifice, guardians. Losing a mother, clinging to what's left. They have that in common, too. Sheriff and Hunter. The Archer and the Boy who runs with wolves. Being followed by a car, ALLISON is Lydia's password now, she looks in pain whenever she types it (a reminder and a punishment, he supposes - "she still is". He doesn't know where that comes from, it's true nonetheless). Inhaler, jeep (a taser pointed at him - at void; who knows). She died for them, that much is certain. Protecting them, saving them (Lydia, him. It doesn't matter, they both blame themselves). She was good and she was dead. Nothing new in Beacon Hills. Just another day. You get used to it (you don't. Every loss hurts more than the next, he should know.). You learn to live with it (they all need to get out of this town, it will kill them all). Allison died a hero, so there's that (does it matter, a voice in his head whispers (maybe void, maybe just him. He doesn't know anymore.) Dead is dead is dead (is dead)). She's gone. They only have the memories (and a silver arrowhead, that's all that's left.). A voice that sounds a lot like Scott says "no, not all. She gave us hope, and courage to keep on fighting. She gave us a new code. Let's keep it to honor her, make sure she didn't die in vain." (She did, though. She died while saving him and he hates her a little for that. He wasn't (isn't) worth it. But she also died saving Lydia and he loves her a lot for that.)

All of that reduced to a few words on a stone. 

Allison Argent (31.01.1994 - 30.11.2011)  
Beloved daughter  
Loyal friend  
Nous protégeons ceux qui ne peuvent pas se protéger eux-mêmes.

Rest in peace, he thought.  
You will be dearly missed.


End file.
